In our recent audio tour of the eight Schools of Magic, we stop by Enchantment and realize, this is not the friendly place one might think it to be.
As schools go, Necromancy clearly has the worst PR team. Everyone hates on the wizards who want to bring things back from the dead -- until it's someone you love who's dead. We clearly have a collective distaste for messing with death. But enchanting on the other hand...
Enchanting sounds, well, sooo enchanting. The words "enchanted forest" bring to mind unicorns and talking bunny rabits. But in 5e D&D, that's not what it's about. The confusion is wide spread, and even the greatest DMs among us (looking at you Matt Mercer) still use the term enchanting to mean "putting magic into an item." (For the record: I love Pumat Sol and The Invulnerable Vagrant.)
But I submit to you, that in fact the School of Enchantment is the worst, meanest and creepiest of all.
It's about honing "your ability to magically entrance and beguile other people and monsters" (PHb). Even the word beguile doesn't sound so bad (they clearly have a better PR team than the necromancers). But when you look at the spells, there are a lot of them that are really dastardly.
Friends: This should be renamed "Frenemy" because after you cast, that person isn't going to be your friend anymore...
Vicious Mockery: Some of us went to schools where we felt the full force of how good the bullies were at this...
Charm Person: This gives you advantage on Charisma checks against the charmed, which can get really creepy, really fast...
Enthrall: This is the Daisy Duke of all spells. It's about wrapping the target around finger while your party sneaks past... Ok, maybe not that evil...
Suggestion: One of the most powerful things you can do in combat is disarm enemies. This gives you the power to tell them to throw their weapons into the river. Or as the text of the spell suggests: "For example, you might suggest that a knight give her warhorse to the first beggar she meets." That's such a major setback for just a second level spell. Ok, maybe there are some ways that could be cool...
Incite Greed: Clearly this one is evil. It prays on a deadly sin! Well, actually it just draws all the baddies towards you, possibly freeing up your friends. OK, maybe this one is bit heroic even...
Modify Memory: If I cast this on on you right now, I could tell you that this whole article has proven conclusively that Enchanters are Evil...or I could convince you that Enchanters are the coolest wizards of all time, and that you think it would be a great idea that you came to our school.
See nothing evil here at all.
(Credit: Header image by Vilenko Vujicevic, spiral from Wikimedia Commons)
